much as i am tempted to write why i am feeling down at the moment, i am rather hesitant. because i rarely share certain stuffs publicly and i'd like for it to stay that way. so what happens? i write about other stuffs. read: ramble/rant/digress.
i realized feeling down ignites my urge to write more than when i am feeling happy. being happy seems to drain de energy out of me to type anything. but when im down, words flow so easily that i could capture every thot and have them penned. works the opposites, thats just de way it is.
so as you can guess, yes i am feeling down. got hit by de blues. of cos i wont be saying why. it wont make a difference anyway. because firstly, i doubt anyone pays attention to me when im feeling down and out. who would anyway? there's enough sadness going around, i doubt anyone needs it from me. secondly, nobody listens. yes everyone said they'll be there for me. but how many are actually there? how many are there physically and spiritually? thirdly, there can be no solutions or changes made. how could there possibly be? everything's not a problem yet. we dont have the means to make changes yet. yadda yadda. same old, same old. hence, i doubt any changes anytime soon.
i guess whatever im feeling is... accumulated. bottled up. stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey. or like a coke can which had been shaken-ed, waiting to be opened. a number of things on my mind, constantly or every now and then. and these stuffs reside there.
in de meantime, im just gonna sit here. and wait. like always.
no wonder they say waiting is a torture.
on a side note, i realized that thousands of people can advise you to make some changes, or talk to you face-to-face, heart-to-heart about certain topics. but if you yourself are unwilling to make any improvements, advices from those thousands of people, dont mean anything.
nope, this isnt a problem to be solved.