stu(dying).

hahaha i can so relate to this. 

and every time i want to 'change' for the better grades, i wound up at the Anger stage. 

gosh, i really gotta do something to my studentlife. but then again, see: Depression. hahaha.  

stop and stare.

its been a helluva schedule lately, that i dont even have a split minute to stop and stare blankly at anything.

uni
i didn't realize taking four mods was suicidal, until this sem happened. i had classes about thrice a week, ending at 10pm every lesson - it was insane having to go to clementi road every other day for three times every week. sometimes i feel like just sleeping over at the school itself to save me the trouble of traveling.
assgts piled up like stacked sushi plates. some being one day after the other, some being on same days themselves. the brain had to be switched from one mod to another in a snap of the fingers without making a mess out of them. im thankful my brain hadn't exploded with so much going on in it. 
as a result, i am always extremely sleepy, extremely cranky and became a pro in procrastination right up to the last day of the assgt deadline.

projecthun
pardon this, dear btbs, if you are coming by to read on the latest of projecthun.
preparations were put to a hold since syawal, mainly because we've done all major bookings and school officially kicked in for me. thats why there's no updates whatsoever of late.
nevertheless, whats left are just:
- booking of solemnization venue
- solemnization's invitation and itinerary cards
- receptions' invitation and itinerary cards
- reception table and wedding guestbook
- wedding favors
- solemnization outfits
- catching up on invoice/payment/work details with booked vendors
- minor decisions of needs versus wants
- other nittygritty arrangements that need fine-tuning along the way

purchasing of wedding stuffs milestones, payment schedules, booking of other vendors, etc - all these are yet to be penned, because the brain-juice just gets sapped out every day.
actually there were earlier drafts on projecthun. but there was just no ample spare time to vet and edit the posts that were now left to collect dust. maybe someday, i shall post them out. other than these, we are just saving dust money to pay the vendors. and getting by as the days go.

on a side note, dear akak kahwin-khronicles, if you happen to read this, the 2014 btbs bloglist getting longer sey! i saw one of the pengantins-to-be have the same reception dates as abz and i. and another one's wedding is about a month after mine. oooh, eggcited nyer! hahaa. i usually read the 2014 btb list, because i kinda think i can relate to them somehow. nak buat shoutout to the 2014 pengantins-to-be okay tak? hahaa. hang in there, insya Allah we will get there! :)

pages
i meant the projecthun, sapphireswirl and zgytezzl tabs. i should really take some time off to housekeep these pages.
i know i gotta do some updates in projecthun - the checklist needs to be updated, some timeline gotta be added and etc. oh so much to be updated here!
sappireswirl took a step back for a while - one of us are in her third trimester, i am in my school semester and others have work-life-family balance. we had to put a hold because we really couldnt find some time to market sapphireswirl like we did previously. oh how i miss doing those orders for ourselves customers. i saw fluffbakery has open a spot at Jalan Pisang and there's Truffles By Siti Khadijah in the market too. korang dah try? :)
zgytezzl launched something new lately during syawal, but unfortunately i hadnt had the time to put up an entry for Mr Zgy. sorry! it was a launch i was really looking forward to, because i could see the increasing interest in it. chehhh, macampaham eh. but so far so good for zgytezzl! yeay!
with so much happening, i really am lacking time management to do that much. it kinda sux because i dont fancy having something left behind to do. mehhh.

and i just realized i logged in another four mods for the next sem.
what in the worlddd was i thinking. 

-edited-
oh i realized (again) that its four mods plus one sub mod. making it a total five mods for the next sem, assuming i dont flunk any in the current sem.
dah buang tebiat agaknya aku ni. empat mods je dah macam ayam patah leher, still got cheek to log in five for what! now im hoping that the school wont grant me all five mods.
excuse me while i bang my head on the wall now.

yayyy.

and finally i get to sit in peace to have an entry.

since my last post, there was a lot of things going on. for a while i purposely busied myself so that i can shoo those negativities away. am still learning tho; and being occupied really helps.

work and school are ongoing affairs which i cant deny; and i have to admit that i hadnt thought about projecthun for a few months now. i resumed my trainings, and enrolled myself in some additional classes. i pretty much try to have as many activities as i can.

and right now, i supposed the only reason why i am able to have an entry is because the uni's server is down until further notice - which means i cant submit my assgt, which also means i kindaaa took a wasted leave.

i was telling fae how i was ready to flunk this assgt because i didnt do the video recording component but God think otherwise and brought the server to a halt and gave me more than enough time to actually do the video. hahaha. talk about fate. on a good note, as of this point of typing, i have actually completed all components and am just left to submit the assgt. yay instead of nay, hai na? hahaa.

oh did you realize we have about four months left to 2014?
in case you dont, now you do.

busybee to be.

and so the next semester's school fees and timetables are tentatively released.

i was surprised that the school actually allowed me to take all selected mods, given a not so good exam result previously. oh well, better to get stressed over le studies now than closer to the projecthun dates, yes?

took a while to pen a summary of the timetable for lectures and exams, and i realized i have classes almost every day, albeit not everyday and every week. good thing that the exam timetable is out too, meaning i can plan to take leave ahead, like wayyyy ahead.

i cant say for sure im looking forward for the semester to begin, but i kind of happy that my time is filled up every day. which is a good thing given that we have settled most of the projecthun major vendors. at the same time im not looking forward to to the next cycle of late nights, lectures notes, group meetings, deadlines, high doses of redbull and take5, etc. somehow it feels like my body is immune to these energy drinks now.

fae asked me why i am gonna to busy the next half of the year. this is why, babe. this is the course timetable. i am likely to have less hps with her. mehhhhh. which also means less netball. and less social time. in fact, less timeeee. see the chain effect?

i just hope i dont crack under stress pressure with time. 

so, five mods for this semester. 
let do this!

six.

i have seventeen drafts pending the publish button; some with regards to projecthun, some for keepsake, and others... just plain boring entries i decided to save as draft instead of pressing the backspace button.  i think i will have a lot of throwback entries. heh.

the semester break had been good so far, for we used the time to settle as many of the projecthun stuffs as we can. and im sooo glad to know we've cleared all major stuffs to reserve date. now that bookings have been made, whats left are just the choosing and finalizing. that can wait.... next year.

its been half a year of 2013. which means abz and i recently hit six months into the engagement world (yeayyy!); i still find it weird to address him as "tunang saya" in public. i still stick to jiran punya cousin punya colleague punya abang. or somewhere along that line. as much as im happygilerrrr to have him as le fiancé, i guess it's not just not the nature to announce/parade ourselves. "tak payah nak tayang-tayang - orang ada mata, orang boleh nampak." imo, too much pda of any sort juga boleh mendatangkan kemeyampahan orang. so lets lessen that possibility and let it flowww. cukup lah sekadar gambar yang tak seberapa dengan status update. even that update took us about three months after the date.

i think i have another month (or so) before uni starts again. can't say im looking forward to it, tho i think i should, given there's nothing much left to research about projecthun except for nittygrits. this means i should be able to pay attention more to the studies, yes? hahahaa. i doubt so. but i do look forward to ending uni, though i know its not gonna happen soon. dulu masa starting banyak main; sekarang terkial-kial nak habiskan uni. tskkk. but better late than never, yes?

ah! dengue is on the rise! its nerve-wrecking knowing that its possible to get the virus. this i know - it was a terrible feeling not being able to sleep soundly, with the body aching all over endlessly. thankfully, it was just overwork. but hey, prevention better than cure.

nevertheless, its been six months, baby! :)
its been (and is gonna be) one helluva ride in which we will get by, god willing.

excuse me.

i think i am kinda worried now. my paper's on friday but i have not touched a single paper of my notes. 정말로! i think imma dead duck.

at this hour, im supposed to be doing revision. but RM's Running Animal Kingdom episode 141 is sooooo hilarious, i cant stop watching it! it had been some time since RM anyway. denial much, ey.

i told myself that i shall not come up with excuses such as busy, no time, work woes, etc. afterall time management is all about myself and how i deal with it, aint it? hence i would safely hold myself 60% responsible for not starting revision early. the balance 40% goes to the excuses. hahaaa.

i should really get cracking, i tell myself that alllll the time. but at the end of the day, its sometimes just so hard pushing myself to study after a day in the office. at the end of the day, all i want to do is get myself on the bed and retreat with Faith (the currently watching k-show) to lull me to sleep.

its always a battle between sleep and study.
that extra time to either rest or revise.
redbull or snooze.
always.


so, accounts paper on friday. another one next week on a saturday (!!). with last minute preparation on its way, i hope ladyluck is on my side for a bit. i dont hope for a distinction, just a pass will do. accounts seyyy.

in the meantime, lets finish up the last few minutes of RM, before i hit the bed for the night books.

saturdate.

last friday was the last class for the semester. and boy, am i glad. the past six tuts were suchhh a drag, i missed half of the entire mod. its alot of online learning, hence presence in class is secondary. 

with the end of the semester, my weekend was gooooood. nothing spectacular, just good times spent wisely. 

dont you hate it when you looked forward to having an outing and then it had to be cancelled? i had just that. and since the plan was cancelled plus i dont need to go to the funeral service, i spent my Saturdate with le bff.

fae and i went to Francisca Dessert Parlour at Millenia Walk. its her friend's cafe which we've been wanting to check out and only managed to do so on that day:     
 

their macaroons, are bombshells! im a sucka for colorful food. 

 

3$ per small cupcake. pricey, imo. size akin to the ones like twelve cupcakes.

apple cinnamon cupcake / gelato with waffles /
chocolate hazelnut-rose-saltedcaramel macaroons. 

for all those sweet treats, tea was good to be bland. i dont mind coming back for more macaroons.

the wafs have been baking for a few a months now, and we had another sesh over the weekend. throw in a couple of kitchen tryouts lately, with help of course. thankfully its all a-okay, nothing disappointing (yet). more of these, another day/time/post.

on the projecthun news - just when i thought im settled with the bridal service, the mind wavers and got fickled. why oh whyyy. okay actually this i know why lah. lets just hope discussions with potential mak andam(s) goes well. more of these, some other day/time/post.

means must uncheck the checklist for bridal service, kan?
-_-

slow down, time.

truly, i wish for time to just slow the *ehem* down.

its been a busybusybusy first quarter of 2013, right after E-Day.

in a nutshell, these are what ive been up to:

• work
• school and assignments
• netball trainings
• baking seshs
• attempting to fulfil meet ups
• planning envisioning projectW, hereafter known as #projecthun (which have finally kick-off.)

sometimes im always out and about, that i dont really gather what im actually busy with.

slow down, time. i want to smell the roses some time.

mehhhh.

the only reason why im procrastinating my first discussion forum right now is because, just when i want to reply a post or two, the forum is on locked status by the author, ie my lecturer. thanks ah ehhh.

disabling posts on the forum had just increased the laziness in me. forget replying, i don't even feel like drafting anything! 

i am lost as a sheep in the forum, trying to come up with a post is hard as it can be. 

ive told myself to get this first forum over and done with as soon as i can, given that im only left with five days to the end of it and three days to the first draft of the gba.

whatsmore, with so much unnecessary confidence, i am taking two accounting mods this sem. smartass me (not). i cannot emphasize how much i am struggling as it is, trying to understand what YY is lecturing during every seminar.

gosh, getting started is such a ... draggggg.

untitled: two.

some days i wonder if anyone do reads this blog.

given that ive disabled comments, right clicks and whatnots, i have no means to know if anyone do visit this site. i dont even keep blogs stats/counts.

should there be someone, or anyone, who does, it'd be nice for me to know. like, someone who'd give me a pm or acknowledgement. "oh hey i read what you wrote. i wanna do that too!" or "i saw your entry. i have tried this and i recommend you to try too!". something along that line. preferably someone close. or who have been around my recent life updates.

on another note, i should be studying for my exam this coming 19th. but there's so much going on that i dont feel like looking at the notes. i believe im being complacent here because its an open book exam. irony ey. i should get started, soon. prolly. 

after that, i shall have the next semester preps. school fees, timetables, post its. same old, same old.

one step at a time, they say.

zip up.

i have to admit, i am very touchy when it comes to any comments about my uni.

be it from family and/or friends, i do not fancy anyone, and i really mean ANYONE saying stuffs about it.

after much pains, i was finally able to take up a degree course. over the semesters, i had to, and still am saving and scrimping to see myself through. i do not have financial support from anyone. much less moral or emotional support. i am as good as independent in this phase of my life.

recently someone close said piercing words right into my heart and head. im deeply upset by that. it took me such pains to see myself through uni, and this person tactlessly shot words without a tinge of guilt. seriously, wtf. whats worse is that this person is someone close. its even worse when i know i cannot do anything about this person. no one could have the idea how hurt i felt.

so, unless you have a share in paying my uni fees, please shut your crap up. if you have nothing good to say about my uni life (or my life in general), don't even start. really. especially when there's no contribution from you or whatsoever. i rather you say nothing of my uni than you giving negative comments about it.

the rule is simple, really.

you don't pay for my school, you don't get to talk about it.

walk 500 more.

ive been such a bad friend. 

for the past week, i was so caught up with assgts that i forgot abt fae. well, not that i forgot. but ive no energy for our weekly catch ups. i dont even have energy for myself. she'd rant on whatsapp about me having no time for her. we're lesbian partners. kidding lah, we're not. no, seriously. 

every spare time possible is spent on reading notes and attempting the assgts - during lunch, in train rides and wee hours into the night. google helped alot too. more often than not, i sleep with my books and notes. its that exhausting. whatever these law mods are teaching me, i swear im not paying as much attention. its gonna be worse next sem - accounts! =/ assgts overlapped one another. meetups with team mates seem to be happening soon. and classes are dry.

however, motivation does go a long way. for some reason, im motivated to finish the course as soon as i can. like, i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more. im also secretly hating myself for not being serious with my studies in the earlier sems of course the money factor is an issue.

but i'll have to pull through, who doesnt.

distracted.

i should be doing my assignment right now, due on 23rd. given de run through by de lecturer last tuesday, it made de editing all de more... painful. because there are stuffs to add, words to remove and a format to follow. it would have been easier if he had told us earlier. one week before submission is totally... tiring. wadsmore when we've written a 80% completion. oh well. this is one of those i consider bo pian, gotta do no matter what.

de past two days are rather queer for me. im distracted. but i dont know about what. there are distractions. but i cant put my head to what. maybe its de dreams that i've been having.

there's one about my alter ego. yes, i dreamt about my alter ego. it was... an eye opener. who, on earth, dreams of his/her alter ego? so far ive only read abt pple living split personalities. i had bits and pieces of de dream, so i cant exactly write what really happened.

there are other dreams. but i shall save that for some other days. however, i do wanna know, why?

i better start working on de assignment. sheeeeesh.

mug, with ribena.

i'm mugging. like finallyyyy.

i say finally because after a hiatus of five longggg years, i'm back in de student world. assignments, projects, lectures, whatnots. this is another round. and because my paper is in fiveee days' time, ive got no time to waste. or at least i try not to waste time. thats another topic for another day. so, yeah. finally sleeping with my notes.

yet somehow, de downloading of info from de papers to de head is a little distracted. i miss my institute days, my mates. because whatever im revising right now, its 60% de exacttt same shit back then. and de kdramas osts in de background juz had to remind me how good times were back then. i started kdrama-ing during my institute days by de way. it was a craze.

i am remembering de library & de canteen much. library was where i pretended to study but ended up snoozing away. canteen because, well, for de obvious reasons.

i shld be studying. revising. whatever kids call it now. doubt de terms hav changed much tho. but blogging via rayden is juz all too convenient for me. this was supp to be a damn short entry. digressing is unevitable.

i need to refill my mug of ribena.

this is such a unnecessary entry when i shld be studying.