heavy sigh.
when projecthun started, abz and i had an idea how we would like the wedding to be.
which girl doesn't? i do not need it to be a dream wedding or wedding of the year, but i knew i wanted an affair that's suitable for me and abz, especially our pockets.
abz and i may be greenhorns, but it doesn't mean that we are ignorant in planning our finances. we acknowledged that we do not have the luxury to spend excessively and unnecessarily, so we are fine to just make do with whats necessary.
you see, i consider myself as a… fuss-free person, sometimes. it helps that abz is the decision maker. to us, if we can decide on something after hearing the vendors' inputs we will finalize it and let matter proceed from there without hassling anything or anyone. in addition, vendors will go to us, their direct clients for quick decisions and updates. so we can cut the additional middlemen and get straight to business.
so far i am pleased with how we managed to get bundle deals from our vendors. sometimes the vendors are nice enough to throw in more freebies, others are willing to compromise with us. i knew that abz and i were on track with projecthun.
there's always a but.
one day, i opened up the projecthun plans to people. my oh my, some resistance i got.
ugly details aside, im more annoyed when i had made plans and gotten proper deals, some folks came into the picture and whambam! all my previous talks and gotten deals were lost with some vendors.
i was told that i wasnt a team player and that the wedding is not just about me, that i should consult and consider the elders' opinion as well because they are the ones to bless the ceremony, that i should not pandai-pandai (act smart) because i am inexperienced in running a wedding affair. i was also told that i was selfish, was being compared with others, and heard some other nasty stuffs.
oh boy did i break down for a while at that period.
so what happened in the end?
i washed my hands off certain areas in the planning.
you want to decide the venue? go ahead.
you think you have so much money for catering? okay then.
you think i have so much money is it? ahhh okay.
you want to finalize the wedding favors? sure.
you don't want my colors? so be it.
you want me to take this vendor? okay fine.
you want this? you don't want that? hmm alright.
do whatever you want. i shall not interfere.
because when i was doing the planning, when i was able to get bundle deals that fit my financial capabilities, people gave negative feedback and remarked that i should leave it to the experienced.
okay. go ahead. show me what you can do.
now, what happened?
i dont have a wedding cake for both reception dates.
i dont have a finalized catering menu.
i dont know when i will tailor the solemnization outfit. or where.
i don't even know what we have not settled yet.
i don't even know when these things can be finalized.
the implications?
i have to start sourcing again. we will have to email some vendors and get quotations, revise the budget if we need to, pop by any wedding fairs. its like everything all over again.
want to know whats worse?
when i have begun to say less, when i have let people handle these stuffs and they came back to me with: 'so, how? you like the venue?" or "what color you want for the decor?" or "what kind of berkat do you prefer?" or something along that line.
if you are going to ask me such questions, why made a fuss about my own planning in the first place? now that i've thrown the ball in your court, why pass it back? WHYYY?!
i just can't understand this.
i honestly find that planning a wedding is not that stressful.
what made it so hard are the opinions and wants of others because of societal expectations. and we just somehow find ourselves having to fulfill these unnecessary expectations. why like that?
heavy heavy sigh.
No comments:
Post a Comment