and yesterday (05-Nov-2015), i cried a lot, like A LOT.
i cried about how i didnt want to go through this nausea phase, about how being slowed down makes me tired, about being weak, about how i cant do things that i used to do, about how theres nothing i can do except to just cry and let my emotions run. i sobbed so badly and whined so much, i felt bad for the baby but i didnt feel bad for my body.
darn the hormones.
everyone i know had been encouraging me to stay strong for the baby, not succumb to the whole episode so much and to keep supplicating for strength. every mother i knew told me that its normal and its a phase which i will miss once its over (no, i dont want to miss nausea).
abz had been helpful, some days - making dinner, taking care of Kkukie, running the house, massaging me when i need to barf. those not-so-helpful times include his "its alright, its normal (to vomit)" and "i also cannot do anything for your vomit". those times i wanted him to taste how its like to vomit all his foods and fluids out. sorry not sorry sometimes.
we haven't chose a gynae, but are likely to fall back on good ol' KKH. the downside is, KKH do not have any maternity package. every consultation, scanning and tests are itemized and individually priced. the other hospital we asked for - Parkway East, do have a maternity package. but similarly additional scanning and tests are itemized and the payment for delivery and gynae during labour admission felt like a concern to us. so, lets see how it goes.
im definitely not enjoying my first trimester.
please ease me of this soon.